There are many titles a birthmom can use with which to identify herself. Some use "Birthmom", as I have, and others prefer "First Mom". A few may call themselves the "Biological Mother", and some may say they are the "Real Mother". There are differing opinions as to why each term is more appropriate than the other, but I think the main reason we use these terms for ourselves is to clarify our position in our child's life when talking to other people.
Last week as Logan and I were having our weekly dinner, our waitress said something to him and referred to me as his mom. I really liked the sound of that. In my eyes, he is just as much my child as his brother and sister. I feel like his mom, but I always referred to myself as his birthmom to identify myself separately from the family that raised him. Later, as we were talking, he told me that a friend of his had asked him to do go somewhere with him that night. Logan said that he told him, "I can't. Friday is when I go have wings and beer with my mom."
Wait...
What?...
He called me "Mom".
It seemed very natural...
Personal...
... like he had been doing it for years.
He didn't preface Mom with "birth", or "first" or "biological", just simply, Mom,
... because that's what I am.
The waitress had said it.
Logan said it.
And then, I thought about how cool it is to have a 25 year old son, who chooses to spend his time with me on a Friday night, when he could be spending it with friends, or a special girl.
When people ask me how many children I have, I always answer, "Three." In the past, I would also give a short explanation with my response, and depending on the circumstances, sometimes give an abbreviated version of our reunion story. From now on, I will simply answer, "Three." No other explanation is needed.
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